Nothingness in Me !!!

Last evening while waiting for a friend after office, I got quite some time experiencing nothingness... Considering  the wait is for few moments , I hit the coffee shop for a quick bite & some news highlights.

With 4 coffees & a lemonade , I  achieved my long pending wish of reading a newspaper , from Sachin Tendulakar getting a Bharat Ratna to Ratan Tata’s PR executive involved with India’s 2 senior journalist to growing population of Gurgaon and much more. Interestingly the front sheet talked about Gandhi being bisexual , Rajiv Gandhi getting a Bharat Ratna at 47 years so should Sachin & demolishing Dilip Kumar’s house with other small bunch of political happenings so as far as my understanding goes , it talked about everything except news..

With this incompleteness in my mind, I moved out towards the open area crowded with either cars or people ; As they say there were cars N cars everywhere but not the one I have been waiting for..............

While wandering in my office complex , hopping from one building to another , I could see people talking on phone, fighting with their spouses , catching up with friends, discussing their boss’s , group of boys discussing a girl standing on the opposite side while the girl trying to catch the attention of one of the guys in that lot , people trying to catch their cabs , guards discussing about impatient working people – there was no way i could have been bored.

Even being just a listener, I poked all of these conversations in my thoughts, framed my own stories around them , build perception about these people and created my own conclusions. There was enough gossip and human behaviour to keep to attached to my nothingness while detaching me from the real world.

Poking my dreams , I heard a voice “ Lighter Hai kya???” ; it took me five mins to react on it ; not because I felt offended instead  I was still under the belief that its happening in my thoughts , to add to the humour my 1^st instinct : my hand goes to my pocket J

By the time I realized i don’t smoke &  could have answered him , he was gone. I kept on smiling for next ten min on my stupidity wondering if its the problem with my reaction time or it’s just the nothingness in me.

That was the end of my great evening filled with nothingness  !!!!!

Belief , Hopes and Thoughts !!!

From mute screams to strangled dreams,

From Stabs unknown to emotions not shown,

I hoped , I have grown.....

From Castles in the Sky to my aspirations gone by,

From moments wasted to the Tears tasted,

I thought, I have grown.....

From Half held hands buried in the sand ,

From Potential hung to the Songs sung,

I Believed , I have grown.....

To my Best Friends...

From ,

The corners of our school building to the corners of steaming samosa’s ,

A group of 25 to a group of 4 , we have seen life in last 14 years ,

Rahul Dravid’s B’day cake to Megha’s Wedding cake ,

Our kiddies fantasies N Crushes to Life’s big decision ; One wicket down three more to go …

Buying pencils N rubbers to buying sandals N bags from K’nags ,

Boring history lessons to long gal talks ,

1: 30 PM School Leave to 2:30 AM drive of Megha’s Wedding ,

Sunday chit chats to long puzzling conference calls ; courtesy Mckinsey though ,

Tis Hazari to Rohini N Rohini to K Nags ; auto’s, buses , metro to my scary driving ,

Gola in K’nags to Parantha’s in Shruuti's house n now to megha’s cooking experiments on us ,

Our boldness to Prerna’s absolutely stupid principles ; though it changed a lil after moving to B’lore ,

Shruuti's 365 days of sneezing to 365 days of my accidents n wounds ,

Chocolate truffle cakes to Vanilla ice creams ,

1st Love syndrome to our unlimited breakup stories ,

Long pending dreams of visiting B’lore to finally happening for each – Next is Shruuti :)

Birthday gifts shopping to celebrating it together ; wish to see all soon ,

School picnics to long pending planning of night outs ,

Hot pajamas in K’nags to planning a pajama party .. hope so soon ,

Cursing our jobs (N Bosses) to infinite palmistry sessions by the great palmist Shruuti ,

The use to double “U” in Shr"UU"ti's name to predicting our marriage dates ,

Our 6th standard memories to college corridors n now to the office cubicles ,

We all had so much to share…. Love you all and miss you so much !!

My Best Friends Wedding

Yesterday, I attended my very close friend's wedding...I drove there, losing my way lot many times , but still making it in time for their grand entrance in the hall. It was commendable on my part as driving and Saree both together was like scary dream for an armature driver like me... With a lot of pomp and show, like every other North Indian wedding it was full of colors, people, food, music and money... It’s truly said marriages are amazing occasions for eating, feasting and merry-making.

I've been by many a friend's wedding in the past few years...but never one like this. It was everything that I wanted, and everything that I feared. The fear of me being at that place in near future…

It was like a basket of all possible moods, expressions and feeling under one roof more than just the people and food. The panic in her eyes was clearly visible but at the same time everything was incomparable in front of the pleasure and the enthusiasm seen in the eyes of her parents. I still remember the 1st function (called as roka) , aunty was almost jumping with contentment ,it felt as if she has become a kid again who's got  her favorite ice cream to eat after a lot of struggle ... It seems they were dancing on the rhythm of accomplishment … Everything seemed so perfect and beautiful , like King queen they were standing on the stage being blessed by all for the unknown yet better days ahead .She was looking like a princess in red  complementing her groom in every way.

For us it was not just a day, we have been working for it or rather ill say celebrating this day since last 3 months, every Sunday was either spent in shopping, packing for her "dahej" stuff or just simple gossiping.. None of us would have ever imagined this day the time we met each other almost 14 years back in school. From school to college to office and a new innings a total new world to start... All i can say is Long live you both and would like to end this on a rhythm of”aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai... "

Chayya

Today morning, while going to office I met someone, someone very local but still there was something which was very neat and different about her. Unlike most of the days when I have to blindly drive on Delhi crowded roads for reaching office at 9 , I left really early almost an hour early. After crossing the lonely roads of naraina which came as a big surprise as those roads are always crowded with cars like ants in anthills , my eyes searched here there for something for a tea shop. Just before I could cross Delhi Cant, a small girl came up to me with some roses saying good morning madam. That” good morning madam” was so impressive moreover unexpected that I had to stop my car and talk to this young lady. Unlike the usual girls on the streets, she was very well dressed in a red skirt and blue top which was not even torn from anywhere. A very neat kid with a yellow flower in her hair and small silver earning dropping down her ear came up to me and said “kya hua didi , fool le lo””sirf 10 rs ke hai” with a sweet but unwanted smile on her face. She didn’t look like the others who were present there; she didn’t look like the other I have seen till date on roads. Her name was chaaya and she made sure that I pronounce it correctly, quite a proudful girl I must say. Innocently she even told that her name was kept after some heroines name her dad liked in bollywood. Her dad was a worker and all she knew was“who subah ko jakar raat ko aate hai aur kabhi kabhi toh raat ko bhi nahi aate” “kabhi kabhi jabi unka bada sahib unka gussa karta hai toh woh achche nahi aate” she probably didn’t know what was all this but then hearing all this again and again made her assume things on her own atleast to tell others. She goes to a government school where she says her favourite teacher is ritu ma( she calls all her teachers as ma, at first I thought her mother is a teacher but then realized this when she took 3 names all with the suffix ma). She stays with her mother and 4 more sisters, and she is a youngest among the lot.  She told me “mein toh nahi aati yaha dida aati hai,aaj who nahi aayi toh mi aa gayi” “me ko dada nahi nahi aane dete who kehte hai mein bade ho kar office jaungi” .. in a broken language and with unknowing expressions she made me realized the big dreams she had in her eyes. The dreams of being big ,the dreams of her sister’s wedding with some guy in their locality called “peda” (quite a funny name but her sarcastic stare at my smile brought it  to an end) ,the dreams in which she wanted to become an actress wearing a “hara” green dress and long hair… the big dreams of a small girl which she has decorated in a beautiful package in her heart. Both of sat there of 20 minutes chatting watching traffic , she kept on admiring my watch for some time and then cutely said “ yeh dono alag alag kyun hai ek lal aur ek nila aaisa kyun” “ ek hi rang ka patta nahi tha unke paas” quite a raw language but very sweet. When I offered her the apple mumma gave in the morning she said no for it saying that her dad has instructed her not to eat anything from anybody on the road and the funny part was the 2^nd statement “ jo mile usko ghar le aa jiya karo”. So she took it and kept it inside her huge pink purse which she called her “potli”. To my surprise she had a mirror and a comb in her bag which she took out when I adjusted my hair band while going back to my car. 

More than anything else I could learn or the gyaan people give ,I would say I found a cute little friend called “Chayya” I’ll always remember her for the big dreams in her small eyes ,the big bag she is holding in her small hands and most of all the innocence in her heart with which she was selling roses on the road.


Undoubtedly today, I have bought the prettiest bouquet of roses from the most beautiful girl….. Chayya